Growing apart from your friends is inevitable. We’re warned about it as we move to secondary school but when your relationship changes with someone who is such a huge part of your life it can sometimes be emotionally draining but it’s normal and it’s okay. It’s also okay to want to go your own way and move on.
Personally I’ve developed quite thick skin when it comes to friendship because I’ve moved schools several times and moved across the world (three times!). It’s partly my nature that means that I can cope with change but a huge part of my past and how I grew up- what we experience in life makes us who we are and is such a fundamental part of our identity. As you grow up you experience new things, when you experience new things you change. Whether you’ve been friends for 10 years or a month with someone, in any amount of time people can change and that’s not say you shouldn’t try to mend friendships but after so many attempts it can erupt and leave you both hurt. If you try and Pritt stick a broken mirror back together it’s only so long until it falls apart again and smashes even more…
In other friendships you can drift away from each other. Being overprotective and clingy is not a way to bring someone back to you- I understand the need to desperately hang on until the last thread’s snapped because you adore the times you’ve shared together but rather, if they’ve grown apart from you, cherish the memories that you’ve had with that person rather than wish for more. Appreciate the person they’ve made you and what they’ve given you because even the bad times or the arguments have made you wiser. In the future when you meet your friend for life-a soul mate, it’ll be because of all the other friendships you’ve had and what they’ve taught you.
I’ve found the best friendships I’ve had aren’t forced and putting in effort doesn’t feel like effort at all. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that throughout my life, my personality, style and interests are going to change so the people around me will and finding your feet can sometimes mean losing a friend. A true friend however will stay in your heart forever.
You should never feel guilty for making new friends and wanting space from people or wanting someone out of your life. You don’t have to have a reason but it should never be to purposefully hurt someone’s feelings. Personal development and just growing up isn’t something you should feel guilty for. But each and every friend has contributed to who you are so don’t be unkind to them. Also you shouldn’t let other people tell you not to be friends with someone. I think that is a decision you have to make for yourself. I’ve been in friendships where we’ve just naturally drifted apart and there’s been no tension because we understood that we were just going our separate ways even if we didn’t have to say it to each other or even acknowledge it until 6 months later when we look back.
Everyone is different- as is every relationship so I’m not going to go into whether a friendship is healthy or not or tell you what to do because I don’t know your friends! Friendship is such a massive topic and the intention of this blog post is to help a least one person accept and appreciate drifting apart from people.